But is this movie truly as awful as its reputation? The answer…yes and no. As a Ghibli film, Tales From Earthsea is easily one of the most underwhelming stories the studio has ever produced. As a movie on its own, the film is merely your average fantasy movie with swords, castles, and magic. The plot isn’t bad and the story for the most part is straightforward, but at the end of the day it isn’t anything too spectacular. Given that this is supposed to be a Studio Ghibli film, one can then see how an average film can set off such negativity amongst the fans.

First, let’s start with the good. Because this is a Ghibli film, the animation is exactly what you’d expect. Characters move well enough and the style is unmistakably Miyazaki. When there is action (all 3 instances of it), the scenes are appropriately tense and cinematic. There are also a couple of scenes in which you can tell the animators spend most of their time on, particularly anything that involve dragons or Cob’s murky magical powers. We also take a good amount of time fleshing out the culture of Earthsea, allowing us to gain a couple of nuances about how magic is perceived as well as the mindsets of all the citizens living in this world. There are numerous glimpses of a much bigger picture surrounding this small tale, suggesting that there is so much more to this world than meets the eye.

However, it is only glimpses of greatness and quite frankly nothing more that hold Tales From Earthsea back from becoming another one of Ghibli’s classics. As fans of Ghibli will tell you, many of their movies can whisk you away to a brand new world where every frame is a sight to behold. From the Japanese countryside to a costal European town and even a fantastical wonderland, fans can fully expect detail as far as they’re willing to look. It is rather unfortunate then that the world of Earthsea appears rather stock in comparison, with no real touches to really establish itself as a unique world in its own right. Sure there are strange animals every now and again and a couple of very impressive dragons, but truthfully one could place any fantasy story in this world and nobody would know the difference.

It’s also unfortunate too that unlike most of Ghibli’s other characters, there really isn’t anything that makes the cast of Earthsea particularly memorable. Prince Arren is the classic hero with a dark past, SparrowHawk is the wise wizard, Tenar the kindly matron, Therru the feisty adventurer girl, and Cob the dark wizard. They all play their parts well enough, but in comparison to most other Ghibli characters they lack the hidden depths that allow them to transcend beyond their stock role in the story. There are moments in which these characters emote more than usual, but it’s rather unfortunate that these subtleties are few and far between. There really is no need to guess where the story is going or how these characters will act, since they stick to their roles with little to no deviation to keep things interesting.

Overall, Tales From Earthsea is a film of unlimited potential but poor execution. There is certainly substance to the story, but you’d have to get past all the boring visuals and dialogue in order to see it. You feel that the world of Earthsea has much to offer, but the boring environment designs, stock characters and an average story do little to suck you in. Even when the film has its moments of visual spectacle, it still doesn’t change the fact that a dry, standard story was hashed out from a richly developed world. One could only imagine how this movie could have been had Hayao Miyazaki himself taken the reigns of the project, but that is now something only fans can speculate about.

Is Tales From Earthsea an abomination of filmmaking? Certainly not, but it falls in that category of a movie that is alright but ultimately unremarkable. Had this film been released by any other studio aside from Ghibli, then chances are it wouldn’t have received the negative attention that it did. Perhaps with a little more development time, a more experienced director, and the courage to take as many visual risks as possible this movie could have been spectacular. Instead, what we get is a tale that plays it safe and overall does nothing to stand out from the infinite number of fantasy stories out there. If nothing else, Tales From Earthsea serves as a practice round for Goro Miyazaki, and perhaps in the future he’ll be able to direct films that will hold up to Ghibli’s astronomical standards.

If you are in the mood for a nice, safe fantasy movie with no big twists and turns, then you could do worse than Tales From Earthsea. But if you are in the market for a visually awesome Ghibli film based off a novel, do yourself a favor and watch Howl’s Moving Castle instead.

Congratulations good sir!  You’ve been deemed worthy by the lord of the underworld to become the surrogate father of his future heir to the throne!  Say hello to Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV, the future destroyer of your pathetic world and currently the most important baby you will ever raise.  But what is a mere mortal to do when faced with raising the incarnation of the next apocalypse.  Not to worry, for the following are several easy steps that will allow you to raise a perfectly healthy baby demon and survive the process!  So sit back and pay attention, unless of course you want the wrath of hell breathing down your neck.

Tip 1: Set a positive example
This is the reason why you were chosen to become Beel’s guardian in the first place, isn’t it?  Such an honor doesn’t come to just any person, but rather the one individual that is more or less everything a budding destroyer of worlds strives to be: strong, destructive, and completely merciless.  If you want to raise your demon baby correctly, you have to be a good parent and teach him all the values that will make him a much more effective son of the Devil King.  So go ahead, show baby Beel what it means to be the strongest and most merciless demon lord known to man!

Tip 2: Always keep your child nearby
Taking care of baby Beel means that you cannot leave him alone, not even for a second.  And I just don’t mean leaving him at home while you go to school, no sir.  When baby Beel forms a bond with you, that means that you must stay within 15 meters of him.  Try to keep yourself further away than that, and be prepared to have an unholy burst of energy up in your face.  And no, the lords of hell don’t care that carrying a naked baby with you 24/7 is cramping your style.  You two are bonded for life, so it’s best that you two stick together no matter what happens.  We mean it.
Tip 3: Keep your child happy
Baby Beel may be the child of all that’s unholy, but like any other baby he has his basic needs.  Food, sleep, toys, you know the drill.  As a surrogate parent, your job is to not only raise baby Beel, but also make sure his time on Earth is as pleasant as possible.  Should baby Beel ever become unhappy, then he will let you know via an electric temper tantrum.  Odds are the human body isn’t meant to handle constant shocks to the system, so remember to keep your baby’s every wants and needs in mind.  Your life could depend on it.

Tip 4: Never contradict the nanny.  EVER.
Now you really didn’t think that we’d leave you all alone without any guidance, do you?  This is why Beel’s nanny, Hildeguarde, is here to assist you.  And by assist, we mean make sure you don’t screw this up.  She is one of the most powerful demons you will ever meet and has taken a solemn oath to raise Beel properly no matter what.  Oh sure, you may be the surrogate parent, but in the end you really are just another mere mortal.  Make no mistake, if you bring Beel down the wrong path, Hilda will not hesitate to end you, so be a good mortal and follow her every word.

We hope these helpful hints will be enough to ensure the healthy development of your new surrogate hellspawn.  Raise him right, and perhaps the Devil King will grant you a place in his new empire on Earth.  Perhaps you may even be rewarded with massive demonic power should you treat baby Beel the right way.  Or maybe you’ll just burn to cinder like everyone else on this planet.  Enjoy your moments on Earth while they lasts!

And if you haven’t watched Beelzebub yet, check out the first episode: